A massive blizzard has taken over much of the Central Plains, and with over a foot of snow, winds up to 45-50 mph and wind chills ranging up to -40 degrees, most people are stuck in their houses or apartments until the thawout comes. What do you do with all this time? Here are some ideas on how to pass the time.
1. Become intimately familiar with every creak and weird noise your pipes make. Hum along with the more melodic ones.
2. Organize the spices in your kitchen first alphabetically, then by country of origin. Stop in shame when you realize what you are doing.
3. Do so much laundry you find yourself washing clean things, just to have something to do.
4. Visit the strange world at the back of your refrigerator and freezer. Wonder why you have a two-pound bag of flour from before COVID and a five-year old orange at the back.
5. Morning nap, afternoon nap and after dinner nap. Followed by further naps as needed.
6. Read all the books you have until you have nothing left to read but credit-card agreement terms written in the smallest font on Earth. Then read those.
7. Light a small fire on your living room couch and make a blood sacrifice to the Norse Gods of snow.
8. Put on your favorite records and dance like a lunatic all around your house. BYOB.
9. Wistfully stare out the window and think of when you were young and things were better. Sob gently.(only recommended for those who can handle unbearable levels of ennui, like French existential writers)
10. Make yourself a double Nyquil cocktail and hibernate until March.
