Five Songs that are Smiths rip-offs (but still good)

 The Smiths are, no surprise, one of my all time favorite bands. Existing for a mere five years (1982-1987) in the center of the eighties, they managed to create a whole new sound with Morrissey's witty, trenchant lyrics and Johnny Marr's breathtaking guitar lines. This unique blend of intelligent words and glittering pop was imitated by many but few came close to their power.  These are the ones who did.

5. Radiohead "Knives Out" from the Amnesiac album (2001) 

According to Radiohead guitarist Ed O'Brien's online diary, the cascading guitar riffs in this track were directly inspired by the Smiths. The glum pace and Thom Yorke's forlorn lyrics ("Look into my eyes/I'm not coming back") cement this classic single as a not-so distant cousin of the Smiths prototype. 

(1) Radiohead - Knives Out - YouTube

4. James "Laid" from the Laid album (1994) 

The Smiths actually liked the band James enough to cover one of their tracks ("What's The World?") as a live B-side. James in return created this stunning pastiche of their sound, featuring strummy guitar and lyrics that sounded like Moz could have written ("This bed is on fire/with passionate love/the neighbors complain about the noises above" is a great encapsulation of Morrissey's diseased romanticism). This was their only chart hit in America and actually received a fair amount of airplay on college radio. 

(1) James - Laid [3-22-94] - YouTube

3. Suede "Stay Together" single, 1994

Despite borrowing heavily from the camp/fey ouvre of Roxy Music and Bowie for their stunning debut record, this single bleeds the same kind of doomed romantic sensibility the Smiths had in spades. The guitars yawn and stretch in a very Johnny Marr style, while Brett Anderson's vocals approach the histrionic heights as Moz's most out-there yelpings. 

(1) Suede - Stay Together (Official Video) - YouTube

2. Gene "Sleep Well Tonight" from Olympian LP (1995)

Gene never made any pretensions to be anything but a Smiths knock-off, but this delightful single was their apex of their output. The track, about young lovers trying to escape a hostile small town, is thematically squarely in Moz's wheelhouse, and if the guitars don't quite ascend to the level of Marr, the anthemic quality places it above other imitators.

(1) Gene - Sleep Well Tonight - YouTube

1. Rick Astley "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" (live track, 2022) 

No, you're not being rick-rolled, Astley is a lifelong Smiths fan and covered this track along with some others on a recent tour....and it's really quite lovely. The cover is respectful to the original while being just different enough to be interesting. Who knew?

(1) Rick Astley with Blossoms - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out (Glastonbury 2023) - YouTube

Now and Then, the last Beatles song: Is it any good?

 After decades of speculation and waiting, the world has finally heard the last Beatles song, assembled from a 1978 cassette demo of John Lennon's that was cleaned up and isolated with AI technology and frankensteined into a new track. So is it worth buying?

The Beatles have long managed the trick of making people rebuy their entire catalog multiple times, First the original LP's, then the remixed versions on the 80's CD's, then as MP3's, and now back to vinyl, which is the reason this song exists, as an enticement to buy the new versions of the classic "Red and Blue" compilation albums to be rereleased shortly. 

First off, the new song is...OK. It's not great, it's not the long-lost amazing Beatles track fans wanted but neither is it terrible. Frankly, it's hard to muster up enough emotion to quantify a response to it. The Lennon vocal is very cleaned-up but it's really nothing you haven't heard before. The song itself is pretty unsubstantial with a very negligible melody and a sluggish pace. Paul's bass playing is nice and it's cool that we get to hear all four together for a last time, but there is no feeling of coherence- it's quite clearly four different performances smushed together into a song by technology. There is no warmth to the sound, no ambience, no sense of humanity. The pasted-on string section doesn't help (you can tell this was Paul's idea.) 

As for the physical single, yeesh. The cover by artist Ed Ruscha, is easily the worst Beatles cover of all time. It looks cheap and hastily thrown together and does not LOOK like a Beatles cover, it looks like your kid brother messed around in Photoshop for five minutes. The flipside, a remixed "Love Me Do", is completely superfluous as it is going to be on the previously mentioned reissues of the Red and Blue compilations. So why waste it here? Collectors buy B-sides for unreleased goodies, you can't tell me there's nothing in the vaults. How about releasing the legendary track "Carnival of Light"? A mixed version exists that McCartney is just sitting on. 

The price point I've seen this thing going for (around $18 for the 7", and $23 for the 12") is a completely ridiculous attempt to gouge collectors. Expect to pay twice as much at least for the now-obligatory colored vinyl permutations. 

All you need is love, sure. But what Beatles fans don't need is another attempt to empty their wallets for what is at heart a gussied-up demo that Lennon himself totally forgot about. 

AI Created Story: Dumpling Attack!

 If you've not yet used Chat GPT, why not? It's endless fun and fascinating to see how it works. Today it wrote this story I provided some prompts for, but the ending surprised me. Enjoy!

Once upon a time, in a small town in China, there was a restaurant that served the most delicious pork dumplings. The dumplings were so good that people would come from far and wide just to taste them. But one day, something strange happened. The dumplings started to grow feet and could talk to humans!

At first, people were scared of the dumplings and didn't know what to do. But then they realized that the dumplings were friendly and just wanted to be friends. They even started to help out around the restaurant by cleaning up and washing dishes.

However, there was something sinister going on behind the scenes. The dumplings had secretly formed an alliance with Pop Rocks, a popular candy that was known for its explosive flavor. Together, they had hatched a plan to replace the town's water supply with Pop Rocks.

The townspeople had no idea what was happening until it was too late. They turned on their taps and instead of water, Pop Rocks came pouring out! Chaos ensued as people tried to figure out what was happening.

But then, a hero emerged from the shadows. His name was Stinky Bear, an alcoholic cabdriver who had seen it all. He knew exactly what to do. He grabbed his trusty bottle of whiskey and headed straight for the source of the problem.

When he arrived at the restaurant, he found the dumplings and Pop Rocks hard at work trying to take over the town's water supply. But Stinky Bear wasn't afraid. He took a swig of his whiskey and charged straight at them.

The dumplings and Pop Rocks fought back with all their might, but they were no match for Stinky Bear's drunken strength. He smashed them into pieces with his bare hands and saved the town from certain doom.

From that day on, Stinky Bear became a legend in the town. People would tell stories about him for years to come. And as for the dumplings and Pop Rocks? Well, let's just say they learned their lesson and never tried anything like that again.

The end.